Two Commitments a Day: How I Actually Manage My Time

At some point in our lives, all of us have gone to bed frustrated that we weren’t able to do something we really wanted to do that day. You feel like you wasted a day doing all these menial tasks that don’t really mean anything to you. I’ve watched videos and read blogs that tell me to plan my day; allocate a certain amount of time to this activity or that. I’ve learned that while that’s part of the answer, in and of itself, it’s not all that useful.

So, how are you supposed to manage your time properly?

Okay, let’s say that you really want to start playing the piano. But, of course, where’s the time? You have to get ready in the morning, grab some breakfast, commute to work, or, if you’re working remotely, clean your desk and put on a shirt while chilling in some pajamas. For students, you go to lecture, and pray you don’t end up with an 8 am class. Still, we spend most of our day, from the mornings to around 5 pm in meetings, working on deliverables, in class, or doing homework. In between, we push pause to grab some lunch, and maybe a conversation or two with a friend. But by the time we’re out, the sun’s hiding, and we’re feeling the call for downtime. It’s the same grind day-in-day out.

Now, you could always plan out your schedule minute-by-minute, but in my experience, small things interfere. Maybe you get into an unexpected chat with your professor after class, or your boss dumps another deliverable on you. Or maybe you’re just experiencing an unexpectedly long call of nature. Rarely, in my experience, does everything go the way we planned.

If you’re going to plan your day down to the minute, always keep an hour or two of wiggle room.

But planning things out to that detail doesn’t generally work for me. That leads me to my main point.

Commitments

Probably one of the most overused and watered down words out there. I’m not talking about ‘commitment issues.’ In reality, the very definition of a commitment means there’s no such thing as a half-commitment. That’s the first step to time management. You have to understand that when you commit to something, it means you can’t walk it back.

Now, when many of us write our new year’s resolutions, we want our life to do a 180. We roll up our sleeves, and make a list of things we’re going to do this year. But by the time we reach the end of that list, we see how long it is and our enthusiasm starts to wane.

Or else, when we watch an inspirational video online or see some documentary about a person achieving the impossible, we’re motivated to get to work fixing our lives immediately. Yet, a few days, or a few weeks in, we never seem to get anywhere. Because there’s just so much to do. We want to learn the piano, spend time with our loved ones, go out to dinner with friends, and so on. It’s the same logic when you go to the gym for the first time. You look around and see people benching 200 pounds and decide to push yourself just a little bit further than you can. Or worse, try to do the whole 200.

What I’m getting at is that it’s impossible to speak one language one day and speak an entirely new language the next. You have to go gradually. And for some reason, this is more daunting to us, perhaps because we’re insecure that we won’t see results, or because we compare ourselves with our peers and wonder how far ahead of us they are.

It’s very hard to commit to all your goals immediately. You have to start one at a time. It’s like learning to juggle. You start small, then grow bolder.

So, start with two commitments. One for the morning, and one at night. This has worked best for me.

Focus

Since the day is sometimes unpredictable and emails or homework or deliverables are always on your mind, it’s also very hard to maintain one-pointed focus on your work. It’s hard to learn the piano if you’re thinking about whether your boss is going to ping you. Unfortunately, since most of us do not have the freedom of our entire day to ourselves, we have to start somewhere.

This is also the most effective way I’ve found to fight procrastination. While it’s a fine idea to plan out what days you might do your homework, or what times you will work on that project, work often stretches to fill whatever time you give it.

Work elongates and somehow seems to fill up your entire day leaving you feeling empty in bed. For me, setting aside my early mornings and the hours before I go to bed for myself lets me find that one-pointed focus. While sacrificing the middle part of the day, I try to make absolutely sure that no work, regardless of how important, stretches into the final two hours before bed.

I’ve found that when you set that time aside, and do what you wanted with that time, you revel in it and find that you’re looking forward to tomorrow.

Yet, until that becomes absolute discipline, there are times when we falter and do not stick to our commitments. I’ve found that those are the moments that test your character more than anything else. When you make one mistake, you begin to think, “it wouldn’t be so bad if I made another,” you justify it to yourself and making that second mistake becomes easier. This is where you have to keep a firm attitude of “cutting your losses, and moving on.” I can’t stress how important this is. Because if you make that second mistake, it’s that much easier to make the third, and so on, leading to a downward spiral. A spiral that makes it that much harder to come back to where you were with your commitments.

One of the most effective tools to counteract this spiral has been journaling. That’s a topic for another day, but it is so very important because when you journal, you can’t lie to yourself. Rather, if you do lie to yourself, you can recognize the lie. So, if you do miss a commitment, journaling helps you hold yourself accountable.

Setting aside your early mornings in tandem with the nights works to add a second “lock” on your day. Even if you miss your commitments at night, you still have the morning to look forward to. This has helped me more times than I can count. You’re, in effect, giving yourself a second chance so that you don’t dwell on the fact that you might have missed a commitment that night. You’re diverting your mind to focus on the next task instead of lingering on the past mistake. The promise of the early morning returns control to you because it gives you an immediate choice if you are unable to meet your evening commitment: “Do I wake up in the morning?” And the same logic applies for an evening commitment if you’re unable to meet your morning commitment.

Where to Start

So here’s where I’d begin. Pick two commitments: one for the morning and one for the night. Leave yourself wiggle room for everything in between, and guard those two blocks like they’re the only part of the day that’s truly yours, because they are. When you slip (and you will), don’t let one miss turn into two. Write it down, cut your losses, and take the second chance the next lock gives you. Once those two commitments stick, add a third. That’s how you finally find the time for the piano.